September 2024 Newsletter
Courageous Girls: Helping Our Big Emotions
It was the school fun run and my five-year old melted down in the middle of the entire school.
She was overstimulated, anxious, and I was embarrassed. I was on the verge of a full-fledged panic attack, quickly considering if it was time to homeschool. Sometimes our quick reactions to our big emotions are not the ideal solutions. Instead, the Holy Spirit reminded me that my daughter needed me to lead her and I pulled out my trauma-trained marriage and family grounding skills. I walked her to the nearby rose bush and focused our attention on the smell of the roses, the velvet touch of the leaves, and the colorful ladybugs climbing the thorns.
Together, we began to calm down. Deep sigh. I realized at that moment - we both have anxiety. Mine comes out in over productivity and hers comes out through withdrawal. Two sides of the same BIG EMOTION. 😠😊😢😨😒 During busier seasons, like the Fall, our emotions can take on a life of their own. In Courageous Girls, we learn how to manage our schedules, making room for what may come and preventing any unnecessary pressures. We have an anxiety epidemic among girls (and moms) today. Being overly scheduled is a huge part of the problem.
One of our biggest goals in Courageous Girls is to help moms and daughters make room for emotions, building space, practical tools, honoring our hard-wiring, and creating safe communities. My oldest is now a Senior in highschool and after nine years in Courageous Girls, she has learned how to listen and care for her big emotions. Part of that is pacing her calendar.
A Courageous Girl (and her mama) is learning to not be ruled by her emotions by following them or stuffing them, but rather learning how to name them, give them a voice, identify what they need, and then advocate for those needs. All skills that not only lead to healthy relationships but prevent unhealthy ones from taking power in our daughters’ lives. We practice at every stage so that as they develop and their teen years reveal even more intense emotions, our girls know they are never alone.
When we learn how to care for our emotions, we become healthier followers of Jesus, friends, and decision makers. Life becomes more colorful and we are more likely to avoid unhealthy coping strategies. Whether you have read my book, Courageous: Daughters Rooted in Grace, lead a CG group or are considering starting one, we hope you find a place where you can find safe and trusted relationships for all your emotions.
Feeling grateful for you,
Words of Love
Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
Psalm 90:12
Words of insight
Learning how to take responsibility for our time this school year and how we spend it (like money), is a maturing process. Time budgeting means that we intentionally look at our calendars and plan time for God, self-care, family, friends, serving, rest, play, etc.
As we know, our plans are written in pencil. Learning to be more flexible can be a powerful muscle to grow when things just don’t go as planned. Consider helping out our emotions by taking time on the front end to talk with God about our schedules. Sometimes what seems doable in the moment might cause enormous stress in the future. Being a good steward of the time He gives us is part of being courageous.
God is already using you today - regardless of the time you have to give. He wants to use it all for His glory and to draw people to His heart of grace and love.
If there is anything in your life that is pulling you away from God, rather than toward Him, consider letting it go. If there is anything that you do not have peace about, and are only doing to people please, or you feel you are “supposed” to do it, let it go.
Time is a resource to steward. Don't just give it away.
Parenting Tips
It’s important to note that Jesus was a very busy guy. He had lots to do, lots of people to heal, places to go, and I am sure He was tired at times. Jesus models how to stay focused on His Father’s business by pulling away and going to have quiet time with God, the Father, before He starts His days.
This is an opportunity to start fresh. So often we have “great intentions” to do so many things with our time and talents that we lose sight of the main thing in the midst of all the busyness. Then our emotional life starts to leak. This will begin a process of seeking first the Kingdom, committing our ways to God, and asking Him for wisdom on how to number our days.
Time Budgeting is a skill that most adults have a hard time with, but as Courageous Girls, we know it is essential to growing in our relationships with God and others. Like any other skill, it requires practice and intentional ways of seeing time as a value to be used by the power of the Holy Spirit. There will never be a one-stop fix; rather, a constant re-aligning with God that we must do consistently and forever.
Tip: Sit down with your daughter this week and plot out the month, quarter and maybe even the year. Add all the activities, including your Courageous Girls meetings. Establish protected blocks of family time, rest, and white space for the unexpected. This will be a guide for those last minute asks and invites they will eventually come. Find a practical way to display the calendar - whether you use a shared app (for older girls) or a white board on the wall (for younger girls). It is vital to give our daughters the tools to practice healthy rhythms, in turn developing space to process unexpected emotions. Being busy is not a badge of honor, friends. It can actually be one of the greatest contributors to the mental health crisis of today.
Updates
Help us fund the Courageous Girls Podcast, coming 2025!
Hosted by founder, counselor, coach, author and executive director, Terra Mattson, this one-of-a-kind podcast will help you with every important aspect of raising your daughter in a world full of confusing messages.
Alongside leading experts and experienced CG mamas, we will be answering common questions, equipping you to show up for your daughter with growing confidence.
DM us @mycourageousgirls to submit your questions or topics you want Terra to cover!
Results of our first Courageous Girls Fundraising Campaign
We raised $2856.08 between one-time gifts and those who have committed to monthly giving this last month. THANK YOU! We cannot continue to move forward without you!
So far, we have raised just over $40,000 of the $100,000 goal we have in 2024. These funds are going toward the new CG App, curriculum editing and design updates, a new Courageous Girls Podcast, CG leader training and resources, admin. support and staff.
You can still support CG with a tax-deductible donation.
Though you might have missed the raffle this last month, you can still help us reach our goal. Learn more and donate HERE.
What you have all been waiting for...
the Winner of the Brasada Vacation home!
🎉 JACKIE FRIESE 🎉
🎉 JACKIE FRIESE 🎉
Merch Store
There are many ways to support the Courageous Girls mission.
Visit the CG Shop and snag some back-to-school gear.
Monthly Challenge
1. Commit to having a regular rhythm with God.
Devote a time reading God's Word and journaling about your days. This is a powerful way to learn how to number our days, care for our big emotions, and receive His wisdom for our lives. Consider taking time to pray over your schedule and ask God where He really wants your time (and your daughter's time) this year. Resist saying "yes" before consulting with God first in prayer.
2. Implement a calendar app or planner.
Write out your “to-do” list for the week and include a quiet time, rest time, play time, work time (school & commitments), family time, and “margin” in your week. Even add "check in with my daughter" to your list. Write these items in your calendar accordingly. You'll have less anxiety when you have protected time for the things that matter most to you.
3. Review your priorities.
Use a pie graph to show what portion of your week is spent doing each of the things on your “to-do” list. Moms, invite your daughter to the discussion, evaluating what helps your big emotions and what causes more strife for each of you. Consider letting go of some of the pieces in the pie that are not beneficial. Sometimes, good things pull nutrition from the more important things in our life. Hint: We don't have to do it all!
Our Favorite Resources
Emotions are a challenge to navigate. How do they affect your daily rhythms? In Episode 234 of the Living Wholehearted Podcast, Jeff and Terra Mattson chat with Bill and Kristi Gautiere about the value and purpose of emotion and how they can be explored with intention.
For Girls Like You
This Christ-centered magazine filled with fun, education and inspiration is perfect for girls 8-12 year olds.
Terra Mattson shares a message on our Courageous Girls page in each issue!
For a discount, use code Courageous20.
Subscribe HERE.
Buy HERE.
I Shouldn't Feel This Way:
Name What’s Hard, Tame Your Guilt, and Transform Self-Sabotage into Brave Action
When you're tangled up inside, it's hard to find clarity. Learn to see through the haze of conflicted feelings and move forward in your life with confidence. Licensed therapist and bestselling author Dr. Alison Cook guides you through a 3-step process to find emotional freedom.
Why Emotions Matter:
Recognize Your Body Signals. Grow in Emotional Intelligence. Discover an Embodied Spirituality.
No matter where you fall on the emotional spectrum, one thing is for sure: God designed you as an emotional being. Through the unified lens of current research and scriptural teaching, authors Tristen Collins, LPC, Jonathan Collins and Melissa Binder explore how emotions work, their value, and how to handle them with curiosity, respect, and wisdom.
Buy HERE.
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